Not a hero
by SpazzyLassy105
Summary: Tony Stark, in his own genius/billionaire/playboy/philanthropist opinion, is not a hero, is not self-sacrificing, and most definitely not selfless. He is he most selfish person he knows and he is sorry, but that's how it is. Oneshot. Rated T for swear words and hints of suicidal actions.


**Not a hero**

Summary: Tony Stark, in his own genius/billionaire/playboy/philanthropist opinion, is not a hero, is not self-sacrificing, and most definitely not selfless. He is he most selfish person he knows and he is sorry, but that's how it is.

**A/N: Just a little thing I wrote in the backseat of the car on my way back from a week long beach trip. Whoop! Have fun, kiddies. ;)**

When Tony Stark guided a nuke on his back into the 'Portal of Tesseracty Doom' (his words, obviously), people from all around, on the ground staring at him or leaning forward to get a better view of the live footage on their T.V. Screens, watched with bated breath. This was _Tony Stark, _putting his life on the line for _them, _for people he didn't even _know _even if they all knew him (or, at least, who he is. Very few people _know _Tony Stark, and even less know him personally). When he came back (there and breathing and _alive _and everyone watching let out a relieved sigh because there he was, joking and smirking and just generally being himself), they called him a hero. Self-sacrificial. Selfless. The thing is, as it has been stated before, _they _don't _know him. _The people that _do _know him – Pepper, Rodney (and JARVIS, can't forget JARVIS) – know that, whatever _that _is (you don't need to know, you don't know him). They _know, _and they _worry _and _fret _just like Tony told them not to because, _hey, it's not like it ever worked before,_ as he once said. But they are not focused on _once, _they are focused on _now, _because Tony _needs them _now.

_Now_ happens to be at the end of the day, when everything is finished and done and other synonymous words, when the clean up had started and the bodies were being extracted away from the public's eye, when families are being called and given the 'sincere' condolences that don't mean shit.

They came to him at _now, _Tony remembers. At the perfect time.

They came to him in his workshop, and he was tired and smudged and banged and bruised and so _Tony (_who else can greet them with a simple, sheepish, "hi." after almost – once more – committing suicide?)that they almost collapsed in relief because _damnit, Stark. You could have died. Again. _Tony didn't say anything, because somehow _I know _sounded like a really bad thing to say – but he didn't have to say anything. They knew what he was thinking; they always did.

Pepper cried a lot. Rodney brought a first aid kit. Punched him. Handed him the first aid kit.

All in all, it was a good – nice, even – reunion. (Good and nice are very different, in Tony's world. I had a _good _business meeting, I had a _nice_ evening with those that know me best, that sort of thing). Because these two people – these two wonderful, amazing, caring, loving _friends _who have put up with all of his Tony Stark-ness – understood him and accepted him and it was _great _because he didn't have to _hide _from them.

Tony certainly doesn't know what he did to deserve these two uplifting individuals but he is _damn glad _for it. He would not have lived to today had it not been for them, these meager humans who he calls family. He knows it, they know it, they accept it and again, that's _amazing _and all that matters because even if they get mad at him because he is insufferable, a "playboy" (a nicely placed lie for the media that the three of them joke about all the time), an ass, he is _Tony _first and foremost and they will _forgive him. _That's not to say that he would take advantage of them – no, never, he cringes at the mere _thought –_ but he knows that if he screws up he isn't completely screwed and _alone again, _which gives him the most weightless, carefree feeling in the world.

So when Rodney breaks his nose and Pepper gets snot and tears on his shirt he forgives them. He forgives them because they would do the same for him, and because he knows that that is Rooney's way of saying _you goddamn idiot we could have lost you, _instead of just _saying it, _which he will never get, and that Pepper was really just trying to say _don't do that again, you moron, you don't get it, we'd _miss_ you, _instead of, y'know. Ruining his expensive and classy – if he could say so himself, which he would even if he couldn't, but whatever – clothing.

Tony will not say that they hugged and bonded and had a heart-to-heart. He won't, he refuses, because they didn't. They had already given each other their hearts so many times that there was really nothing left to give or take or share, so they just sprawled themselves down in the workshop, close enough to brush an elbow or knee, in comfortable silence until the sun set and rose again.

Sometimes they tried to figure out who's heart was who's anymore, late at night when having a get together and there was nothing left to do, as if they were discernible at this point in time. As if they all didn't share a heart.

But the truth was, they never wanted to be separated from each other enough to know who had which heart, so they a half-assed attempt at figuring it out and then just left all three of the beating organs to mingle happily.

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

**.**

People say that when Tony Stark flew into the portal with the nuke on his back, knowing he would die to save Manhattan (and, really, all of New York), that he was being heroic. Self-sacrificial. Selfless.

People are wrong.

Because when he flew into that portal, he _wasn't _being heroic, he _wasn't _being self-sacrificial, he _wasn't _being selfless. It was actually the opposite; gliding on up there had been (one of) the most selfish thing he ever did.

But it wasn't like he was going to _tell _them that.

Those who needed to know...well.

They already knew.


End file.
